


Two Lost Birds

by princeofvoid



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Complicated - Freeform, F/M, Personal Growth, im so sorry, its, probably slow burn tbh, theres fluff tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-08-29 04:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8475721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princeofvoid/pseuds/princeofvoid
Summary: Story of Genji and Angela's relationship, starting at the beginning.  (final chapter count is an estimate)





	1. White Light

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of what I'm doing for NaNoWriMo so it won't be edited until after the month of November. Hope you enjoy the questionable quality and I really hope this all makes sense!

“Hey, Doc? I think he’s waking up.” 

“Thanks, Jesse. Mind giving us some privacy?” He could hear a door open and shut, the faint rattling of what couldn’t possibly be  _ spurs _ fading into the distance. “Let’s take a look at you, hm? Can you hear me?” He is fairly sure that he nods, but he can’t be certain, something feels off. “Can you speak? Or even just a sound would be fine, to make sure everything is in working order.” 

“Cowboy?” The doctor hovering over him laughed, he was fairly certain an angel just got their wings. 

“You’re talking about Jesse, he was watching over you while I did some paperwork. Guess you heard his outfit clicking and clacking, he makes a bit of a ruckus.” Genji could feel the bed shift, he assumed she had sat at his feet. “Genji, my name is Dr. Angela Ziegler, I’ve been treating you over the past few weeks.”  _ Weeks? Is that how long it had been?  _ “You’ve gone through some fairly extensive surgery, which I won’t get into the specifics of, but you have a lot of changes to adjust to. We did everything we could, and we’d like you to stay with us here at Overwatch until you’re fully adjusted. You’ll be put through some intense physical therapy and you’ll need to revisit and refresh your ninja training, you’ll find that you’re now faster and stronger than you once were.” 

“We saved as much of your original body as we could, but I’m afraid we changed more than we kept. I’m going to remove the bandages on your face, I’d like you to try and eat something for me.” Angela leaned over and undressed his face, dabbing at his healing wounds with a damp cloth. “Sorry it’s not a five star meal, but it’ll feed you.” She placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of him, and a glass of water at his side. 

At first everything was white, bright and piercing. White tile reflected white walls, Dr. Ziegler practically glowed in her lab coat. It wasn’t until he noticed the faint green light buzzing at the edge of his vision that Genji saw what his body had become. 

“All these mechanical parts and I still have to eat oatmeal?” 

“Well, no. I just thought maybe eating something would comfort you in some way, you don’t really gain anything from it.” 

“The day oatmeal is a comfort is the day I’m saved from starving to death, and judging by what you just told me that day isn’t coming anytime soon.” He flashed her a grin, only wincing a little as he stretched the healing wounds on his face. She laughed again, and even though he clearly hadn’t died, he was in heaven. “So, you and the cowboy?” He waggled his eyebrows, wondering if he should throw in a wink so she’d get the message. 

“Jesse? No, god no. He is not interested in, uh, my type.” 

“Beautiful women?” 

“Moreso the ‘women’ part, really.” 

“Ah, so Doc, when am I well enough to take you on a date?” He flashed her a grin again, happy to see that a faint blush had tinted her cheeks. She fidgeted where she stood, holding his uneaten oatmeal. “Unless, you aren’t interested in my type?” 

“No, I’m interested. Very interested in fact, but right now you’re under the influence of a nearly illegal amount of painkillers and sedatives. Ask me tomorrow?” 

“And every day after that until you give me an answer, Doc.” 

“Call me Angela, please.” 

“Very well, Angela.” She stifled a giggle at the way her name sounded coming out of his mouth. She wanted to capture that sound and carry it in a jar, so she could preserve the warmth it caused to bubble in her chest. Bubbles of warmth that threatened to erupt into laughter, she almost felt lightheaded. Feeling flustered she scrambled for a change in topic. 

“You can go for a walk around the premises if you’d like. I can call Jesse to accompany you, just to make sure you don’t pass out in a corner.” 

“I’d like that, thank you.” Minutes later Jesse McCree was rapping at the door, spurs and all. 

 

 

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Genji - er Shimada - kun?” He looked to Angela much like a deer surprised by a set of alarmingly close headlights, she just shrugged and disappeared into her office. “Sorry, I tried to read up on this stuff while I was watchin’ over ya but I don’t even got good grammar and manners in this country never mind somewhere else.” 

“It’s fine, Cowboy. Just call me Genji, honorifics are mostly a thing of the past, as is the Shimada name.” 

“The name’s McCree, Jesse McCree.” He posed as he said the line, more dramatic than the situation warranted. When Genji laughed, Jesse laughed along with him. “Shall we go for a walk then, Genji? I can show you round, all the secret places too.” 

They didn’t have the best facility for his training needs, but it was beyond what an average army facility would be. There were posters plastered all over the place, Genji thought he could see Angela in some of them. Most of their walk was spent in silence, apart from Jesse pointing out various places and interesting things they came across. 

“This is a military organization, no?” 

“Yeah, yeah it is. Why’d you ask?” 

“The military lets you dress like that?” Jesse scoffed.

“Listen, this is just my home get up. I’m usually a little more subtle in the field, depends on the work. Never without my hat though.” 

“And the piercings? Wait, do you have tattoos?” Genji had suddenly become an eager puppy, wanting to see all of McCree's piercings and tattoos. “I had tattoos, before…” he trailed off and gestured to his body, glowing faintly under the clothes they dressed him in, “my favourite was a sparrow on my arm.” Jesse filed that information away, figuring it could be useful if he ever needed to get him a gift. 

“All of my tattoos are from my past, so there aren’t many I still like. Reyes won’t let me get anymore, so I can’t cover them up or anything.” Genji lit up. Literally. 

“Can you keep a secret, Jesse McCree?” McCree nodded, eyes wide. “Get me a gun and some ink, I’ll fix up your tattoos. This ‘Reyes’ doesn’t have to know.” 

“Hah, you need to meet the man before you decide to do stuff behind his back, trust me he’d know.” 

“How? How often does this man see you naked, McCree?” 

“Hey it’s not like that! I live with him, he kinda took me in. He’s almost all of the reason I’m part of this program. He’s a little rough, but he’s a good guy. Don’t you dare tell him I said that though.” 

“Ah, so you play the part of the petulant and ungrateful child?” 

“I- I wouldn’t go that far. It’s more of an understanding. I- I am grateful to him, he’s done a lot for me.” 

“At ease, Cowboy, I was just joking. From one rebellious child to another, I’m glad you still believe in what he has you doing.” Genji grinned, but Jesse saw there was a sadness in his eyes. No one had really told him what landed the kid here, but he guessed it had something to do with his family. “The offer is there if you ever want to take it, I did all my own tattoos.” 

“Do you wanna see the range? How do you fight by the way? Gun? Sword? Bow and arrow?” 

“I use shuriken mostly, but I am trained to use all manner of weapons. You, are a cowboy. I, am a ninja.” Genji did some flashy hand movements, like something straight from an anime, and bounced around the hallway they had found themselves in. He landed silently behind McCree, “Wow! Angela wasn’t kidding I am faster than before. This is a pretty sweet upgrade.” 

“You’re fast, and I don’t just mean at running. Angela? Already?” 

“She’s… have you heard her laugh?” 

“Not my type, but good luck. Don’t hurt her though, you’ll have half of overwatch coming after you. Myself included.” 

“And here I thought we were getting along so well!” Genji punched him in the arm, and darted down the hallway. Jesse had to jog to catch up with him. 

“Let’s go to the training area, you seem like you need to burn off some steam.” 

 

“Alright, you all tuckered out yet?” 

“Nope. But I can see you are, and I probably shouldn’t push this body too far just yet. Walk me back? I have an awful sense of direction.” Genji moved his hand to brush through hair that wasn’t there, his face showed a flicker of an unreadable emotion before returning to his default grin. 

“I’m sure you’re dying to see the Doc again too, huh?” 

“Well, kinda I guess. She’s nice and cute, I asked her out on a date already but she told me to ask again tomorrow.” Genji shrugged, doing his best to match McCree’s pace as they walked. “I have quite a history, with women and men both. I don’t want to repeat old mistakes, but I feel like I already have.” 

“Trust me, Ange won’t let you mess this up. She’s a bit of an idealist, what isn’t perfect and healthy, she’ll make perfect and healthy. You’ll be in good hands.” 

“That’s reassuring. Thank you, Jesse, I quite enjoy your company. Even if you make more noise than a grumpy dragon.” 

“Grumpy dragon? Is that a Japanese phrase?” 

“Uh, sort of. It’s a story for another time, this is the clinic no?” 

“Yep. I’ll leave you in the cute and capable hands of Dr. Ziegler. Good luck!” 

 

 

“Angela?” 

“Genji! You were gone for quite a while, I trust Jesse didn’t annoy you too much.” Her voice was filled with warmth. “I’d like to run some tests, see how you’re holding up after some exercise. This first part is purely questions, so you don’t mind if I snack a little bit do you?” She’d already pulled out a sandwich so clearly the question was moot. He nodded anyway. “Good! How does everything feel?” 

“Good, weird. I’m glad I don’t have to relearn the basics of moving, even with the added speed it’s much the same as it was.” 

“That’s good! We did our best to keep as many things as same or similar as we could. Glad to hear that paid off.” Genji watched as she took dainty bites out of her sandwich, from what he could tell she had fit every possible food group between two slices of bread. “And heat? Did you overheat at all? If you did anything strenuous your vents should have activated, did they?” 

“Uh, no. I visited the training room with Jesse, but there wasn’t any ventilation happening.” 

“Hm, there must be a way to trigger it then.” She pondered over her sheets, growing increasingly puzzled. “Did you feel any heat when you were exercising?” 

“Not really, no.” 

“Maybe it wasn’t strenuous enough? Or maybe your body is optimized for combat, so it takes heat generated from something other than a combat situation to trigger the ventilation. I suppose a pillar of steam would eliminate any stealth ability you would have.” Angela seemed to be talking more to herself than to him, so he kept quiet and she ate and paced. “Genji, you asked me on a date earlier.” 

“Yes, but I don’t see how that relates to the matter at hand.” 

“Forgive me.” Before he could really process what she meant, she leant in and kissed him on the cheek. As soon as her lips made contact, they both heard the sound of vents opening and steam being let out. “Glad to see that works properly, sorry about that. It’s the first thing that came to mind.” 

“I don’t know whether to be flattered that you were thinking about kissing me, or astonished that you did it without buying me dinner first.” Genji chuckled and Angela’s blush deepened, “Tomorrow? Dinner?” 

“Yes, I’d like that.” 

“Well then I suppose I should get some sleep, so tomorrow comes sooner.” He paused for a moment, “I do still sleep right?” 

“Of course! Your brain needs to rest, even if your body doesn’t. You may not need as much as you once did, however.” 

“Alright, do you have anymore questions Dr. Ziegler?” 

“Yes, one.” He nodded, encouraging her to finish, “What exactly is it you are planning for tomorrow? Are you going into this blind?” 

“Yes and no, I have an idea. You’ll find out tomorrow, Angela.” He grinned, and bounced his way into bed with far too much energy. 

“Good night, Genji.” 

“Good night, Doc.”


	2. Blue Abyss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the positive feedback it means the world to me! And it is a great motivator, I got the email notification and immediately decided to write more. That second. I was on the bus.

“Jesse, it needs to be perfect.” 

“Yeah, I heard you the first time Doc. Still don’t know why you asked me for help, why not just go to Gabe.” 

“Because, you spend enough time around him to have some of his fashion sense. And I don’t mind changing in front of you.” Jesse shrugged, he didn’t have an argument for that. Angela continued pulling out shirt after shirt, holding them up for Jesse’s verdict. “Why don’t you just pick something, this is getting us nowhere.” Angela huffed and threw herself down on the bed. 

“So, you really like this kid?” 

“Yes. No. I don’t know? He woke up after weeks of intensive surgery and smiled at me, none of my patients have done that before. Who smiles when they wake up in a hospital bed?” Angela was making wild gestures as she spoke, in an attempt to cover up the fact that she was blushing. Jesse rifled through her closet, finally settling on an outfit and throwing it on the bed. “When he smiles, and when he just is, it’s like the entire room is brighter just for having him there.” 

“Gee, Ange. You got it  _ bad. _ ” She threw a pillow at him.

 

“Angela, you look…”  _ stunning, breathtaking, ethereal.  _ Her hair was tied up, as it always was, and she wore just a hint of makeup. But rather than her bright white lab coat and blouse, she wore a deep blue summer dress. Genji was entranced.

“I know, it’s kind of plain. I don’t often do stuff like this, I tend to just stay holed up in my office.” 

“No, not at all. I’m fluent in multiple languages, and none of them have words to describe how beautiful you look right now. What you’re wearing is perfect for what I have planned, anyway.” Genji offered Angela his hand, and together they walked down the echoey halls of Overwatches base. They walked and talked for what seemed like forever to Genji, not just because time seemed irrelevant with Angela beside him, but also because he was lost. Hopelessly lost. He was fairly sure they were walking in circles, and if he noticed, Angela definitely noticed. 

“Are we just going to walk in circles all day?” 

“I was actually about to ask for directions, can you take us to the training room? I have an awful sense of direction, I thought that since I was there with McCree I’d be able to find it again. I overestimated my navigational skills.” Angela laughed, Genji felt his body heat up and focused on  _ not  _ freaking out so badly he needed to, literally, let off some steam. She grabbed him by the hand and tugged him towards the training room, all the while poking and prodding hoping to make him break and tell her what he had planned. When they finally came to a stop, he urged her to stay outside while he set up a few things. 

“You can come in!” Angela walked in to find that Genji had changed, so he was wearing a dress shirt and slacks. They were obviously borrowed from Jesse, they hung off his body as though they were trying to melt into the floor. She scanned the room, to find what was out of place, her eyes caught on a stereo. 

“What’s the plan, Genji?” 

“You mean now that we aren’t totally lost?” He laughed, and took both of Angela’s hands in his. “Now, we dance. I don’t know much about dating rituals in western cultures, but my brother-” he grimaced “-he always believed music to be a universal language.” After walking her to the center of the room, he darted away to start the music. “This is also a way for you to see how everything is working for me, that way you aren’t missing any work.” She wasn’t missing any work anyway, she’d stayed up last night to finish extra paperwork so she wouldn’t be anxious about it today.

“How did you know that would bother me?” 

“When your work ethic is as poor as mine, you learn to pick out who the diligent ones are. It makes group projects much easier.” He flashed her a grin, and if he hadn’t simultaneously placed his hands on her waist, she may have lost her balance. They moved, slowly at first, clumsily placing their hands in awkward places. Neither wished to push the boundary, but both wanted to be closer. As they danced, if it could be called dancing, they chatted idly. Angela spoke about her work, the progress she was making and her hopes for the world. Genji chatted away about meaningless things, videogames and music he liked. Over time they got closer, until Angela could hear the soft whirring of his body, and he could feel her heart thrumming in her chest. The music changed pace, speeding up, and Genji pushed her away to arms length.

Throughout sequences of swirls and twirls, Angela laughed. She laughed as he dipped her down, her ponytail brushing the floor. She laughed as he lifted her by the waist, spinning her round. He grinned when she held on a little tighter after he put her down. They danced and danced, laughter echoed through the room. 

_ Kuh-tsssssssssssss _

“Well, I suppose surprise kisses aren’t the only thing my body isn’t optimized for. Dancing with beautiful women counts too.” Angela laughed, leaned in and kissed him again. Lightly on the cheek. “Wh-what?” 

“It’s less embarrassing for you if there’s another reason you’re steaming, right?” He felt his entire body heat up again, and his hands went straight to his face. “All that dancing worked up quite the appetite for me, want to accompany me to the cafeteria? You can eat something if you’d like, it’s not exactly great food though.” Grateful for the change in topic, he agreed. They cleaned up the room and headed out. 

The night was a success, Genji figured. Angela seemed much more relaxed as she left him to go to bed. Since he found that he didn’t need to sleep as much as he did previously, Genji asked for a sketchbook and pencils. Tonight he was inspired. 

  
  


“Cowboy, you kill me. How is  _ that _ a horse? Come on, this is your home turf.” 

“Listen, Naruto. Not all of us had a fancy education where we learned how to do artsy stuff.” Angela walked into the clinic to find the two of them huddled over a table, guffawing over whatever was on the paper in front of them. She was glad they got along so well, Jesse being busy meant her productivity was about to increase tenfold. “Hey, Doc. You seen your boyfriends art skills?” 

“Jesse, don’t you dare.” 

“Oh um, nevermind Ange.” Now she really was interested. She walked over to where the two of them were seated and tried to maintain a neutral face. 

“What are you two giggling at?” 

“Doc, I am a grown ass man and I do not giggle.” 

“Jesse we are the same age. No one is a ‘grown ass man’ at 22.” 

“Admit that I am a grown ass man and I’ll let you see your boyfriends drawing of you.” 

“We aren’t dating.” Genji.

“We aren’t- wait you drew me?” Angela. 

“Fuck.” Genji and McCree, simultaneously.

Luckily Genji was faster than everyone else, he grabbed the sketchbook and scaled the closest filing cabinet. Perched precariously on the edge, so as not to mess up anything stored on top, he very seriously considered eating the drawing of Angela.

“McCree, leave.” 

“What seriously? This isn’t entirely my fault!” 

“Jesse, I’m not kidding get out of my clinic now.” He raised his hands in defeat, and sauntered out the door. Throwing a thumbs up at Genji before he closed it, Genji scowled at him. 

“Thanks.” Genji hopped down from his perch, “if you want to see it you can, it’s just embarrassing. We don’t know each other that well, and we’ve only been on one date I don’t want to weird you out or anything.”

“I’d like to see it, if you don’t mind?” Genji shook his head, and handed the notebook over.

“It’s just, I’m used to drawing nature and things that I find beautiful and well, there’s a shortage of nature here. I’m surrounded by concrete and machines, but I’m also with you.” He continued to blather on, speaking at a mile a minute, Angela wasn’t even listening. 

“This is beautiful.” 

“I- um- well, yes. It’s you, how could it not be.” Angela giggled at his attempt to flirt in this situation. 

“This writing here, what does it mean?” She pointed to three lines written in neat Kanji. 

“I-it’s a haiku. It’s not very good, my brother was the poet.” 

“Translate it for me?” 

“She was midnight blue,

A galaxy blossoming.

We collide, breathless.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haiku's aren't my thing. I messed with everyone's ages a little but they still follow the same pattern, so Jesse and Angela are 22 and Genji is 20. The timeline and events might be a little skewed from canon but since the canon is kind of vague anyway, it doesn't matter too much (i hope).   
> It says in the tags slow burn and like I know I dove right into fluff and relationship but there is a reason for that and you will all find out soon and I am just going to apologize preemptively.


	3. Green Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very late chapter, sorry!

“I need healing.” 

“Genji, where are you?!” 

“I’m in a building somewhere, I’ll come to you.” 

“Oh god.” Mercy buzzed her comm off, turning to Reinhardt beside her. “Genji is on his way but I don’t know how long he’s going to be. Keep an eye out for him will you?” 

“Ah yes, the young doctor cares greatly for the small glowing one, doesn’t she?” It was true, they’d been dating for a while now, and she had come to care for him more deeply than she had planned. He brought a distinct light into her days, literally and figuratively. Together they had made some changes to his new body, making sure it worked as best as possible. Despite how he describes himself, he is a very diligent worker and has been a great help to her. When they offered him his own quarters, he accepted graciously, but ended up sleeping in the clinic most nights anyway, helping Angela. Jesse said he once found them cuddled up against Angela’s desk, they both deny that they have ever cuddled. 

 

“Shit.” Genji rounded the corner, landing himself on the same street he was on two minutes ago. He just kept going in circles, even though he grew up here, he still had no idea where he was going. 

_ “Look for the trees on the hill, find them and you find home.”  _ Genji shook his head, in an attempt to force Hanzo’s voice out. He was always getting lost, and Hanzo was always finding him. Until one day, he wasn’t. Until one day, Genji woke up lost and alone in a white room with only one truth to go on, and it had nothing to do with trees. 

What should be silence in an empty area, was filled with the quiet hum of a body not entirely his own. He came to a halt and looked at his body, actually looked at it. Everything was foreign to him now, this body had never walked these roads. This body had never eaten at the ramen place across the street, this body had never felt cherry blossoms fall onto its hand. This body was new, it had never felt rain or snow, it had never broken its leg jumping from the second storey of his home. 

He couldn’t know where he ended and this body began, Angela refused to tell him the details. He had promised himself he wouldn’t dwell on it, not until he had finished his mission. But being faced with the place he called home for so long, it was hard not to be consumed by thought. 

“You there, omnic. You shouldn’t be here, go back to wherever you came from.” Genji froze, the familiar voice caused shivers he couldn’t feel. Hanzo repeated himself in Japanese, Genji kept his back firmly to him. “It’s not safe, leave. I’m assuming you are here with the unsubtle, loud, German man? I can lead you to him, if you can keep up.” He barely had the time to process what was happening before Hanzo lept onto the roof and darted towards where he had last seen Reinhardt. Genji had no choice but to follow. 

 

“Genji! Finally, did you seriously get lost with a home advantage?” Mercy laughed, redirecting her healing stream to him. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, there was too much to process and too much going on. Standing beside her, he only broke his silence to mutter ‘thanks’ and then dart off in the direction of the drop ship. They could finish this mission without him, he’d only be a liability. 

Once he was safe, he pushed his body out of stealth mode and let it release some steam. The pilot nearly had a heart attack when he came out to find Genji sat, completely silent, in his seat. He radioed Mercy to let her know Genji had made it back to drop safely, and warned her that the time before the Shimada clan discovered their drop point was rapidly running out. 

Too many thoughts were running through his head, and even if he could forgo sleep for a day or two, he wouldn’t be able to sort all this out. Rather than sit and think on thoughts that couldn’t be sorted, he drew. Losing himself in the familiarity of a pencil and paper, he finally calmed down. 

 

“Genji? Are you okay? It’s not like you to leave a mission early.” Angela had pulled him aside the minute they got back to base, worry was written all over her face.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing to worry about.” He pecked her on the cheek, and flashed a smile that seemed more like a snarl before running in the opposite direction. To his quarters. Usually they’d go over the mission as a group, discussing what could’ve been better and what worked. Everyone would then report to the doctor's office, letting Angela check for any injuries or damage to equipment. 

“Hey doc, what's up with the boyfriend? You guys having a spat?” 

“Something like that I suppose, did you need something Jesse?” 

“Nah, but you look like you need a drink, I’ll be at your office in ten.” She started to protest, but McCree had already bounced off, whistling to himself. She wouldn’t get any work done tonight anyway, so she might as well enjoy some company. 

There were four nights in a row where Jesse joined Angela in her office, it was mostly him that drank, all while complaining about whatever it is Gabe had him and Genji doing next. Genji had yet to speak to Angela again, he was barely ever out of the training room. Her days had become noticeably duller without him, although Jesse did his best to make up for it. On the fifth night, Jesse called to say he couldn’t make it, didn’t give a reason. She assumed it was relating to his work with Gabe, so she didn’t pry. 

On his fifth night of wallowing in misery, there came a knock at his door. Behind it was a very angry Jesse McCree. 

“Genji, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Angela is worried sick about you and you haven’t said five words to her, or anyone, since your mission. I don’t care what happened, but don’t you think you at least owe Ange an explanation?” 

“McCree, it’s not as simple as you may think. I need time.” 

“Then tell her that!” 

“I can’t talk to her right now, she is the last person I want to see.” There was a heat in his tone that made Jesse stop for a moment. Jesse McCree, however, was born without the ability to detect danger, and so a moment’s hesitation is all his survival instincts allowed.

“You know as well as I do that that is bullshit. I don’t care what you want, whatever it is that’s happened or is happening, Angela is the one you need to talk to. You two were inseparable for months, I refuse to believe that one mission can change that.” It took two seconds for Genji to pin him against the door by his neck. 

“What you do and don’t believe matters little to me, the only thing I care about less than you right now, is her. So listen to me, Jesse McCree, and listen closely. Dr. Angela Ziegler made me what I am today, she created a monster so twisted and far from human that my own brother thought I was one of  _ them. _ I don’t know who or what I am anymore, all I know is that once I’m finished my mission here, I’m leaving. Until then, I won’t have anything to do with her.”

“If that’s how you felt, you should’ve said something. Not hide away like a petulant child, that’s the behaviour I’d expect of Jesse.” Angela was stood a little ways down the hall, carrying a small parcel which was assumedly a gift for him. Jesse faked insult and ducked away, hurrying to the nurse's office to pick up whatever pieces of Angela would be left. 

“You want to talk about it? Fine then, talk. I’m listening, what excuse do you have for me Dr. Ziegler?” 

“You must know, I only did what I thought was right. I saved as much as I could, a mans heart still beats in your chest. You still think and feel like you did, at least you should. It’s possible that there were some unforeseen psychological consequences to the operation. We don’t have a psychologist on staff, when our soldiers are deemed mentally unfit we send them home.” 

“I don’t have a home, Dr. Ziegler, what do you propose you do with me?” Angela had moved towards him, there was no real emotion on her face. 

“I want to help you, Genji, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Genji scoffed. “You don’t need to believe me, you don’t need to like me or -” she choked on her words “- or love me or whatever game it was you were playing with me before.” Genji’s face fell, a smug self-important smirk was replaced with a blank stare. “But for this to work you need to trust me, you say you want to accomplish your mission? The only way to do that is to trust in me, in Overwatch. We only ever tried to help you, everything we did we did for a reason.” 

“Angela, I-” 

“No, Genji. You’ve made your feelings about me clear, I know when I’m not wanted. No doubt Jesse is waiting for me, I’ll tell him to stay on good terms with you. You need a friend right now, and Jesse is the best friend I’ve ever had. I only hope he can help you with, whatever this is.” She turned and left, tossing the parcel at him over her shoulder. 

Genji returned to his room, after glaring at a few of those who had gathered to watch the scene unfold. He flung himself on his bed shutting the parcel in a drawer, unopened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who failed at nano lmao   
> anyway heres another chapter i've been halfway through writing for over a month   
> even though its not november i probably wont edit until its done   
> enjoy!


	4. Dusty Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy this is almost entirely dialogue - enjoy :D

“You normally use those, uh, pointy star things.” 

“Shuriken.” 

“Yeah those, how are you so good with a gun?” Jesse sat back against the wall, Genji had cleared round after round of training dummys with near perfect accuracy. 

“Cowboy, my family ran a crime syndicate, do you really think we weren’t trained to use the weapons we smuggled?” Jesse shrugged, gesturing for him to keep shooting. “Me and my brother, we were trained to kill in every way you could think of. He was especially skilled with poisons, though he never cared for them. He claimed they were a cowardly way of killing, there was no honour in it. He wouldn’t tell my father this, but the reason he excelled was because he used to sneak into the kitchens as a child and bake with the chefs, making poison wasn’t much different from baking a cake to him. I couldn’t do either, so I stuck with shuriken and other blades, he scolded me when I told him the only reason I did so was because I wanted to look cool.” At that, Genji bounced up into the air and took out three dummies at once with a shuriken spread, landing lightly in front of McCree. “And I do look cool, don’t I?” 

“Sure do, Shimada.” Jesse’s comm buzzed to life, Genji couldn’t hear but he knew it was Angela on the other end. They hadn’t spoken since they fought, occasionally Jesse acted as a go between, letting them know how the other was. 

Jesse thought they were both stupid, they both still cared deeply about each other, he didn’t really understand why they weren’t at least friends. He also knew when there was more going on than he was told, which was almost always he found, so he kept out of it for the most part. Genji gave his gun back, and sent him off with an empty smile. Their training sessions were nice, they seemed to be the only time Genji left his room aside from missions so McCree made a point out of enforcing them. Most of the time, Genji would talk about his past, his family and his brother. If he had to guess, he’d say it was cause remembering the past was easier than dealing with the situation he was in presently. Which must mean the whole, robot ninja thing, was really bad because his past sounded painful.

Jesse’s understanding of it was that, him and his brother… Lanslo? Hanslo? Han Solo? He could never remember, most of the time McCree pictured a young Harrison Ford fitting into whatever tale Genji was spinning. They had been groomed, practically brainwashed, from birth in order to take over the family business. Genji would escape, sneak out and see the world for himself rather than through his father’s eyes. Han Solo wasn’t so lucky, apparently he was every bit the obedient eldest son, never even thinking to question his father's authority and wisdom. Jesse figured that got beat out of him before Genji was old enough to realize what was happening, and that he was the reason Genji never got those beatings too. It didn’t seem like it was all bad, they seemed to get along well enough despite their differences, at least up until the incident. 

Before he realized it, he was at Angela’s door, he knocked and walked in. 

 

“Mizu no yō ni nagare.” Genji ran at the training bots, dodging their bullets as best he could, once he had danced his way to each bot and eliminated it he started again. Each time he got hit he repeated himself, “mizu no yō ni nagare.” He pushed himself relentlessly until his movements grew clumsy with fatigue, even then he only allowed himself a short break before starting up again. 

He trained like that for well over an hour, finally retiring to his quarters exhausted. Before he closed his eyes and surrendered himself to what he calls ‘stand-by mode’ he replayed it in his head. His own brother, seeing him as a stranger, an omnic. Hanzo’s words haunt him, and they follow him into his sleep-like state. 

He remained like that for some time, avoiding the present, until a knock came at his door. 

“Enter.” He was expecting McCree, he’s the only one who comes around anymore. 

“Genji?” The voice that came from the crack in the doorway was not the gruff confidence of the cowboy. 

“Dr. Ziegler?” The door closed a little, she was unsure. “Angela, you can come in if you’d like.” And so she did, every inch of her body showed how much she didn’t want to be here, she obviously had a message or something. 

“I, er, that is…” He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her, it had been too long. “I was wondering if you ever did open that package I gave you?” He hadn’t, it had sat forgotten in the drawer for so long. 

“No I didn’t, would you -” he shuffled on the spot, “-do you want it back?” 

“No, gosh no. I just think you should open it, I’ll tell you why once you have.” He sat on the bed and took it out, gesturing for her to sit beside him. He turned the package over in his hands, he had no idea what it could be. At first he opened carefully, but once he knew what it was he opened it with the reckless abandon of a child on christmas morning. 

“Angela, you shouldn’t have! This is, too much really.” 

“Don’t sweat it. Anyway, Jesse has been whining about his tattoos since you brought them up so I figured you hadn’t opened it yet. I know it’s what you wanted to do, before all this. I see no reason why you can’t do it now.” 

“I could kiss you, Angela, I really could.” 

“Genji, I don’t think-” 

“No, don’t worry. I won’t, not yet, but one day I will. I know why you did it, I know you would never mean to harm anyone, and I deeply regret the things I said to you. But the truth is, even though I know all this, I’m still angry. At you, at overwatch, at my brother, but most of all at myself. I swear to you Angela, when this is over I’ll leave and I’ll find my answers and become a man worthy of kissing you. Until then, I’m going to tattoo every overwatch member who wants one, starting with Jesse of course.” 

“I- I’m not really sure what to say, I hope you find what you’re looking for.” They left it at that, sharing a brief and awkward hug, filled with the quiet wish things could be different. Genji hurried off to find McCree, they had planning to do. 

 

“Jesse!” 

“Genji?” Jesse set his gun down, turning to face his unexpected visitor. 

“Cleaning up I see? Well I have something planned for you.” Genji hurried over and sat across from him, putting the box Angela had given him on the counter. 

“Woah, where’d you get that? Are you talking about what I think you are?” 

“Angela gave it to me, I just never opened it until now. You still want some fresh ink?” 

“Hells yeah.” Jesse couldn’t help but notice Genji had called her Angela, up until now it had been ‘the doc’ or just ‘Dr. Ziegler’ but no, Angela. “So how’s this gunna work?” 

“You busy tonight? You could come over to my quarters I need to see what I’m working with, then I can draw something up for you.” 

And so Jesse packed a light bag, telling Gabe he was staying with Genji for the night, which was pointless really it wasn’t like Gabe was his dad. He seemed grateful for the information anyway, Jesse figured it was just so he didn’t make too much food. 

 

Once behind closed doors, he stripped down and showed Genji the tattoos he wanted covered, and some ideas for what he wanted. He and Genji had different ideas about what a sensible tattoo looked like. 

“Jesse, I am not tattooing a cowboy mural on your back.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I like to believe you’ll grow out of this, now give me a serious idea.” That was Jesse’s serious idea, and Genji knew that, he was just stalling for time until he could come up with one himself. “In Japan, it's common for tattoos to be based on nature and filled with bright colours. You don’t seem like the flowery type, and I don’t believe a desert with rocks would make for the best tattoo.” 

“What about animals?” 

“Yeah, usually mythological creatures, dragons and the like. But also birds, koi, snakes, and tigers, but that’s the traditional stuff, I’m not opposed to doing something different if you’d like.” 

“You said you had a sparrow, right?” 

“Yes, I’m surprised you remembered.” 

“Why did you choose that?” 

“It was a nickname I had, but also because of what it symbolizes. The sparrow symbolizes joy and creativity, among other things, but this is what I wanted to cultivate in my life. I wanted to bring joy and colour into my life, and the life of my brother, and now I would bring it to you and anyone else who is willing.” 

“Wow, I don’t think I can come up with something like that. I was hoping it was just a ‘I thought it looked cool’ kinda deal.” 

“Hah, well it was that too. What sort of things do you want in life? What do you want to do with your future?” 

“I want to deal justice, take out thugs like the deadlock gang. I also want to protect the ones close to me, and anyone who needs protecting really.” Genji sat and thought on that for a while, as did Jesse. 

“Perhaps a falcon, then? They are migratory birds, commonly associated with power and determination, they are usually a war symbol. However they also represent light, and freedom.” 

“You just know all this?” 

“My tutors were very thorough, nature and its symbolism is an important aspect of my culture. Perhaps a tiger? It is more common in Chinese culture, but tigers are considered protectors, there are five tigers in Chinese myths, white, black, blue, red, and yellow. I’d recommend either blue or white for you.” 

“Why those?” 

“The white tiger is associated with autumn, and metal elementals. The blue is associated with spring, and earth elementals.” Jesse’s face lit up with an idea then. 

“So tattoos, they’re sometimes done by hand right?” 

“Yes that is the traditional way of doing them, I don’t have the materials necessary to do that now though.” 

“Yes but you could, potentially, carve a tattoo design onto a piece of armour, no?” 

“What are you getting at, Jesse?” 

“The tigers, you can design a blue tiger for me, and a different tiger for you. We can match! I can get Ange or someone to fashion you a piece of armour, and you can have that!” 

“I- I don’t think so Jesse. I am not ready to bring who I was before to who I am now.” 

“Shit, Shimada I didn’t even think of that I’m sorry.” 

“So, blue tiger then?” 

“Blue tiger.” Genji set to work, with Jesse hovering over his shoulder, occasionally asking questions or adding input on things he’d like. It took them most of the night but eventually they had a design worth tattooing. Jesse passed out, and Genji laid in a few finishing touches, enjoying the peace. 

 

Over the coming weeks they’d do bits and pieces of Jesse’s tattoo, once finished it covered his whole back. Somehow Genji had managed to capture the wild ferocity and quiet regalness, Jesse’s back swirled with blues and greens all spiraling towards the center. The eyes of the tiger were the true masterpiece, dusty eyes reflected the desert sun Jesse had grown up with. They shone with such emotion, you’d think the tiger could roar to life at any moment. Angela made them tattoo in her clinic, Genji agreed that it was probably the safest place to do it. 

Jesse was ecstatic with the finished product, so much so that he forgot Gabriel had told him he couldn’t get new ink and showed him, giddy with excitement. Luckily, Gabe agreed it looked better than the stick and poke tattoos he had before, and let him off with a warning. 

What was most surprising though, was that more people came to Genji with requests. Most people wanted something small, words with meaning to them or the birthdays of their children. Some were bigger, art pieces, those were his favourite. 

Nothing, however, prepared him for who his last customer would be. 


	5. Pink Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not confident in this one but enjoy!

“Angela? You want a tattoo?” Genji was leant against the doorframe, he couldn’t help the smirk plastered on his face.

“What? Is there something wrong with that?” 

“No, not at all. You just don’t seem the type.” Dr. Ziegler failed to hide the fact that she was grinning too, it was true she wasn’t the type, but something made her want this. “Do you have something in mind? I’m assuming if you’re asking you’ve already given it lots of thought.” 

“I have, lots of thought. I think I’d like you to choose for me, you chose Jesse’s and it turned out wonderfully. I’d like it on my back, and it can be traditional or not I don’t mind, I trust you.”  _ I need you to trust me. _

 

Genji disappeared for a few days then, McCree visited him only to be shooed away. This was a different type of shut in than the previous one, he was inspired, not lost. He slaved over his sketchbook, at first all he could draw up were sparrows and doves but eventually he broadened his horizons. He thought angels were too obvious, however fitting, besides western religious motifs weren’t his specialty. He did draw up one ‘angel’, though it looked more like an effigy of aphrodite, surrounded by nature and of course, doves and sparrows. Angela was growing restless, and occasionally wandered by Genji’s room just to check in on how he was doing. On the fourth day of her visits, he had an entire notebook full of possible ideas. 

“Here, there’s about three core designs in there but tons of different variations. If you let me know which you like, or which parts of a few that you like, we can get started.” 

“Genji this is…” 

“It’s a lot, I know. I just want to leave you with something you can love.”  _ A reminder of me that you can love, a piece of me that you can love.  _ “I’ll leave it with you tonight, should I come by in the morning or do you need longer?” 

“No the morning should work fine,” Angela stared pointedly at the ground. “Thank you, Genji, for… everything.” She turned and walked away, all Genji could do was stand there nodding slowly, still processing what that could possibly mean long after she had left. 

 

Morning came and Genji felt alive again, he dashed through the halls to Angela’s office, without getting lost once. He rapped metal knuckles on the door, and entered to a soft spoken  _ its open.  _ Much to his surprise, he found Angela asleep on her desk with McCree standing next to her, coffee in hand. 

“Did you get her drunk again, Jesse?” 

“Don’t you take that tone with me, Naruto, this is your fault.” Genji had no idea what the cowboy was getting at, until he noticed his sketchbook wide open on her desk. 

“Did she talk to you about it at all? Do you know what she picked?” 

“Yeah I was up with her for a lot of the night, I went to bed at some point though. She seemed to like the ones with the birds?” Genji stopped breathing for a minute, there had only been a few designs with doves and sparrows as the focal point, and he wasn’t ready to explain any of them to Angela. “Genji, you alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Mind if I take over Mercy duty?” Jesse chuckled, handing him the coffee and striding out of the office, spurs and all. Genji moved closer to where she was asleep and nudged her arm softly. 

“Five more minisssh Jess, ‘m sleep.” He chuckled, that caused her to stir a little more. “Guh- Genji? What’re - What’re you doin’ here?” 

“Good morning, sunshine. Jesse brought you coffee, I’m delivering it to you though, I figured we had some stuff to talk about.” 

“Yes, yes! I like these ones, but I don’t know why there is so few of the design when it’s so beautiful.” 

“The ones with the sparrows and doves?” Angela nodded and pointed to the very first design Genji drew up. “If this is the one you want, then you have to promise me something.” 

“And what might that be?” 

“You let me finish the sparrow when I am ready, I apologize because I don’t know when that will be, I just know it’s not now.” 

“Oh, of course! I wouldn’t want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, and I know the sparrow is important to you. By the way, what’s with the doves?” Genji just smiled and gestured for Angela to take a seat where he had set up shop. 

 

Sunlight had begun to creep over top of the windowsill, casting a pink light on the room, it was gentle and warm unlike the harshness Genji woke up to. He wiped Angela’s back down with a sterile cloth, the smell of alcohol nearly overpowering the smell of her perfume. He ran through all the usual questions he asked, ‘Do you know the risks?’ and ‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ and so on. Angela asked again about the dove, Genji just smiled and told her to wait and see. First he sketched out the rough idea of where everything was going, then he pulled his sketchbook closer and set to work. 

“Since you are so eager to know how my mind works, I thought I’d let you in a little bit, if you’d like?” 

“Yes of course, if you’re comfortable with that.” Genji shrugged, not that she could see that, and set back into his work. 

“Right now, I’m putting in the outline of the flowers. The first and largest flower is a hibiscus flower, it has many meanings all over the world, but in Japan it simply means ‘gentle’. Beside that there is an iris, often used to mean healing and femininity, but also a symbol and example of great beauty. Surrounding them, and the rest of the tattoo, are cherry blossoms. They reflect the idea of ‘Mono No Aware’ or the pathos of life, they bloom but not for long, their beauty is fleeting. As is life. Given your line of work, I know you are aware of this, it was meant more as a reminder that sometimes a life is placed in your hands that you cannot, or were not, meant to save. I know something so small as a lost tooth feels like a failure to you, but you should know that you’re the best doctor and woman I’ve ever met. You will never in your life be a failure, Angela Ziegler.” 

“The dove?” Her voice cracked when she spoke, Genji couldn’t help feeling emotional himself. 

“Do you know what doves represent, Angela?” 

“Peace?” 

“That’s one interpretation, yes. Others say it’s simply a messenger, bringing the news of peace and is thus a symbol of hope. Both interpretations are true, however not the reason I chose a dove. Doves can produce their own milk, but it's at great cost to themselves, they sacrifice their own health to make sure others are taken care of. I see you work yourself to the bone and run yourself ragged every day, all because you care so much about how the other members are doing. They’re also a symbol of grace and love, both of which are qualities I believe you are overflowing with.” 

They sat in silence the rest of the time Genji was working, save for the beeping of the machinery. It felt strange to be this close, this quiet, this alone together again. Neither seemed to be complaining. Genji wiped Angela’s back, letting her stand up in her own time while he cleaned up his materials. 

“Can I see?” Genji whipped out his hand mirror and gestured for her to move in the direction of the full length one. After several attempts and showing her the tattoo, the mirror was removed from Genji’s hand and she did it herself. 

“You like it?” 

“Genji it’s,” she paused for a moment to wave her hands around, trying to find words, “stunning? Beautiful? Captivating. I don’t have words it’s, everything I could’ve imagined and more. Thank you.” 

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how to take care of it?” 

“No I’ve overheard the speech about a million times by now.” Angela laughed, an honest to god laugh, and Genji remembered how all this had started. With a laugh that gave wings to angels, in the same room where it all seemed to be coming to an end. 

  
With the same care he puts into his tattoos, Genji slowly placed his hands on her waist. When she didn’t object, he pulled her closer, being watchful of her new tattoo and letting her head fall against his chest. They stood like that for a while, just staying close and holding on, scared of what might happen when they let go. Angela pulled away first, tilting her head up to look him in the eyes, Genji was relieved to find his emotions reflected in her eyes. They were both so, so terrified of losing each other, he just had to hope that was enough to bring them back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so after this will probably be a bit of a time skip we're kind of moving on to the next part of the story   
> i'm gunna do some planning and figure out how much of the frustratingly vague canon im keeping and i'll probably dedicate a chapter to detailing any changes, if any.   
> thanks for reading :D


	6. Time skip information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding this as its own chapter so that if anyone gets confused as to whats going on in the following chapters they can access the info easily.

Two years have passed, Genji has been travelling but not doing much. Occasionally Jesse calls him and asks for help dealing with some bad people but otherwise he’s pretty directionless. Angela has been studying and researching new technology, hasn’t told anyone why though.

We pretty much enter the story as Genji finds the Shambali Monastery and Angie has got some shit going on.

The following chapters will probably be a little shorter but I’m hoping to post more often to make up for it.

In case you want to know this puts Jesse and Angela at 24 years old and Genji at 22. Zenyatta shows up and he’s 20 here. Because yeah I’m messing w the canon a bit.

Mondatta is not dead. (Yet, idk what im doing it might come into play depends how much _pain_ i want to incorporate.) The Shambali are kind of new at this point, not the celebrities they are in 'Alive' and in the canon.

Sorry for the irregularity of updates and the length being kind of all over the place, _I’m_ kind of all over the place.


	7. Golden Billows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of on the short side - more should be coming later this week :D

Genji was amazed at the things his body could do, he had no issue climbing mountains and hiking through snow. He found what he thought was a pathway, although everything looked the same to him. He thought, perhaps, the cold would bother him and cause him to feel something familiar and distinctly  _ human. _

The heat that radiated off his body melted any snow that he touched.

 

“Are you lost?” 

“I- uh - no?” It wasn’t often that someone took Genji by surprise, especially with his upgrades.

“Just wandering then, I presume?” Genji took in the appearance of the omnic beside him, he looked like your standard omnic really, aside from his unusual clothing, the dots on his forehead, and the fact that he was… floating. No wonder there were no footsteps. 

“You must be one of those monks.” 

“Yes, I suppose that’s an accurate way to describe me. My name is Tekartha Zenyatta, and what is yours?” 

“Genji, Genji Shimada.” Genji shook the omnic’s outstretched hand. “I was actually hoping to visit the monastery.” 

“I thought you might, most omnic’s who travel through here make the journey, I’m happy to show you the way.” 

Zenyatta figured it was a kindness not to mention the fact that this ‘Genji’ had looped around the monastery three times and missed it each time, he was sent out to help him on account of the fact that they appeared to be similar in age. Mondatta had given some pretentious sounding speech about togetherness, but really he was concerned that Zenyatta didn’t have much experience outside of the Shambali. 

They journeyed with ease through the snow, Genji was impressed with how quickly the monk floated, he kept pace easily. Eventually coming to a grand building, or at least it would’ve been grand in the past. Centuries of wear marred the outer walls, snow lined every crevice and crack in the stone. Worn golden flags billowed from atop the rounded roofs of the building, each bearing the Shambali sigil. The front door, wasn’t even a door, just an archway. It was open, to everyone, even Genji. He who had been shut out so many times, by his own family and then by almost everyone he met on his travels these past years. He could just walk in and he’d be welcomed with warm arms, and accepted. 

Zenyatta crossed under the archway, pausing when he realized Genji wasn’t right behind him. Overcome with so many different feelings, he was unsure of what to do, is this where he was supposed to be? Zenyatta waited, not saying anything, for Genji to cross under the arch. When he finally did, he was unsure if it had been minutes or hours that he stood there frozen with fear of the unknown, fear of someone else accepting the things about him he couldn’t. Because that would prove that he was weak, wouldn’t it?

“You’ve taken an important step forward, Genji.” Zenyatta gestured for him to follow. “You should meet my brother, Mondatta, he is the leader of our order and he may be able to give you what it is you seek.” 

“How did you know I am looking for something?” 

“Desire is not a trait unique to humans, omnics experience it too, omnic and human alike there is always something to want.” 

“What is it you want, Zenyatta?” 

“That is an answer best saved for another time, we are here.” He rapped metal knuckles against a hard wooden door, the sound echoed sharp off of the vacant stone hallways. “Brother, I brought the wanderer.” 

Mondatta floated around the door, Genji could tell at a glance he was someone who held power and commanded respect, but not through fear (like his father) or through an iron fist (like Commander Morrison). He commanded respect through the weight of his words, the essence and force of his personality. Genji was impressed, Mondatta was much different from the more childlike Zenyatta. 

“Genji Shimada, sir.” He bowed deeply, unsure of how to greet someone like Mondatta. Zen chuckled, and Mondatta was very clearly trying not to.

“Please, we are all equal here, omnic and human or a combination of the two. Rise, young Shimada, tell me what it is you seek.” 

“I seek inner peace.” Mondatta reached out a hand, Genji tentatively reached out and placed his hand over top. 

“You shall find it, alongside Zenyatta.” 

“What, brother? I am not ready. This man is clearly in pain, he needs help not to be aided by a novice.” 

“I would gladly accept you as my master, Zenyatta. If you would have me?” Zenyatta felt a heat flare up in his chest, he simply nodded and once again gestured for Genji to follow. 


	8. Black Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Checking in on Angela

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worlds shortest chapter, sorry! The reason this took soooo long to come was because i was toying with how much I wanted to get into with Angie and when, decided that less is more.

“Angie you need to take a break.” She gave no answer but a glare in the general direction of a well-meaning cowboy. “Come on, this isn’t healthy. When did you last eat? Why is this so important?” 

“Jesse, you know I can’t tell you. Please just, go.” He stepped towards her, concern etched into his face. “Go, Jesse. I’m not asking.” With a sigh he resigned himself to leaving, he knew when he was unwanted. Since losing Jack and Reyes, neither of them really know what to do with themselves. Jesse, he wandered and doled out vigilante justice. Angela, she holed herself up in the old base’s medbay, she restored it almost single handedly after the incident. He tried to visit when he could, though she was always the same. It had been two years, and still she worked and worked on something she would never talk about. 

  
“He’s gone, you can come out now.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More is on the way I promise!


	9. Oak Splinters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet and very very late. Sorry! My adhd meds got messed up so I've been disappointingly unproductive, but I took them today so I'm hoping to get a good chunk of this written and maybe edit a few of the older chapters. I have no self control so there might be a few chapters added in the next few days because what is spacing things out. anyway ty for reading.

“Master?” 

“Not now, Genji.” He was restless, standing looking down on his master who looked so serene, still as a pond. Genji however, felt more like raging rapids, he needed to  _ move.  _ He huffed and started to storm off. “Was this an issue before?” 

“Yes, master.” 

“So you’ve never been able to sit still and focus your thoughts?” 

“No, not unless I was drawing.” 

“I think we should try a different approach to your issues then,” Zenyatta rose from his meditative position and started on his way back to the monastery. “I have an idea, but it might seem strange at first so I want to just try it and we can talk about it later, okay?” 

“Yeah sure, as long as it doesn’t involve sitting and staring at you for over an hour.” Zenyatta had tried to make Genji close his eyes during their meditations, but he tended to fall asleep so he took to staring at his master. 

“Would you enjoy meditation more if I wore a silly hat?” Genji grinned, seeming to love that idea. Zenyatta felt his face warm up again, he quietly willed it to go away. “Sit, I’ll be right back.” Genji sat down, letting his hands run across the thick wood table in front of him. When he had first come here, he had been reluctant to do anything with the others, he felt so out of place. These were omnics, they were not his people. 

Eventually, being the social bird he is, he started talking to Zenyatta more. He was happy to learn that his master had a sense of humour, and was often extremely pleasant company. At first, Zenyatta was hesitant to bring up Genji’s education, not wanting to go back on the progress he was making. However on the day he had decided, firmly, that he was bringing it up, Genji saved him the trouble. It was awkward and clumsy at first, because even Genji didn’t know what he needed. The pair soon found a rhythm that worked for them, and found a balance between the friendship they had built and their relationship as master and student. 

 

Zenyatta returned, carrying a bundle of what appeared to be art supplies. He set them down in front of Genji, and told him to pick what he felt most comfortable with. He was completely unsure of what his master had planned, and so he stuck with what he knew best, pencil and paper. 

“Genji, I want you to create a visual representation of yourself.” 

“That’s… a vague instruction master.” 

“Yes.” He obviously wasn’t getting a more precise instruction, so he set to work. It didn’t take long for him to forget the weight of Zenyatta’s eyes on him and get lost in his art. The familiar sound of pencil scratching on paper soothed him, calming any restlessness in his usually jittery bones. He poured as much concentration as he could muster into the work, drawing a detailed self-portrait. Tentatively he showed it to his master, unsure if he had completed the exercise properly or not. 

Zenyatta had watched him the entire time, entranced by how he worked, so sure of his pencil strokes and yet so unsure of what he was doing. There were places on his body where he first went to draw flesh, but realized his mistake and corrected it. It was a very accurate depiction of Genji’s physical body, but a very inaccurate representation of himself. Nonetheless, Zenyatta was impressed with his ability to sit still for so long without complaining. 

“That will be all today, my student. Feel free to take these supplies to your room if you’d like, I’ll be meditating in the yard if you need me.” Genji couldn’t decipher his masters tone, had he done what was asked of him? Was his master displeased? Bowing, he took his leave, a bundle full of art supplies tucked under his arm. 

  
  


“Doc, are you any closer to fixing this? It is your fault after all.” 

“You don’t need to tell me that, I’m doing my best.” 

“Do you still standby what you did? Even though this was the result?” 

“I never regret saving a life, no matter how different the form it takes afterwards.” 

“That’s the catch though, doc. I’m not alive, am I?” She didn’t have the words to respond, in all honesty she thought he was a hallucination, some sign that she had finally lost whatever was left of her mind. “I think I understand why Shimada hated you so much.” He yanked the IV out of his arm and stormed off down the empty hallways, only ghosts walk these halls now, and he was one of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mercy's stuff is rly short bc im gunna be honest genji is much easier to write so instead of making it seperate im just gunna tag it on the end so y'all can Keep up w the Zeigler cause shes got some shit going on but i dont plan on actually dealign w it until later so shes #suffering for a bit. her last chapter name was a hint fyi in case you havent figured out whats going on w her yet.


	10. Wet Murk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji gets a letter & has a therapy breakthrough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im basing a lot of like how i write this on my own experiences w art therapy cause that shit was literally so helpful for me and i think for someone who grew up in a culture that discourages over emotional displays art therapy would probably be the best way to deal w intense emotions so heres to hoping this pans out. enjoy!

“Again.” 

“Master we’ve been doing the same thing for weeks, I don’t see how this is helping.” 

“Then try something new today.” Genji huffed, he was growing increasingly impatient with his masters repetitive demands. Every day for three weeks he had sat at the same table and received the same instruction, _ draw a visual representation of yourself.  _ It was still cryptic, and he could only assume he was doing it wrong and that's why they kept doing it. One day he had drawn his flesh body, how he was before, Zenyatta had displayed mixed emotions at that. Another time he had drawn a sparrow, his master had seemed most pleased with that result although he still didn’t offer feedback or conversation, simply ended their lesson and went on his way. 

Today Genji passed on the pencil and paper and reached for paints, he was never the best painter but he didn’t care about the finished product today. He wanted to show his master how he felt, and paints were the best way to express raw emotion. 

When he was younger, he would splatter paint. Hanzo or his father would scold him, and he would gather his supplies and head out to the hill overlooking the town and fling paint at a canvas to his hearts desire. The trees there were splattered in paint, once Hanzo had found him and he had expected a scolding for desecrating the trees his brother seemed to love so much. He didn’t though, his brother just climbed a tree and sat there watching the sky, Genji actually hit him with paint a few times - entirely by accident  _ of course  _ \- but he either didn’t notice (unlikely) or didn’t care (almost impossible). Today wasn’t a splatter paint day, instead he squirted the paint straight onto the paper in front of him, thick splotches of colour that slowly spread until their edges touched. 

Zenyatta watched with curiosity as his student reached out with a finger and swirled the paint soaking his paper. Slowly at first, slow and deliberate circle motions, mixing the paint and creating a neat spiral pattern. Then his posture changed as it always does, he forgot this was a meditative exercise and instead lost himself in the process. The movements stopped being slow and deliberate and instead became erratic and careless, paint flowed off the edge of the paper  but he didn’t seem to notice or care. Soon he stepped away from it, the bright colours he had started with were now a murky brown and there was no rhyme or reason to the paths carved into the paint. 

Genji was breathing heavily when he stepped away, his heart was pounding and looking at what he had created left a thick stone in his stomach. 

“How do you feel?” 

“Awful, this isn’t art. Art is supposed to be beautiful, it's a reflection of the soul.”  _ Its the only thing I have.  _

“This, my student, is a reflection of your soul. This displays your turmoil, your uncertainness, this is what you have been hiding from yourself, or what you have been hiding from. However you want to look at it this is an important step forward. I’m proud of you.” 

Genji almost broke at those words, he almost snapped at Zenyatta, but he stopped himself. 

“I’m going into the yard to meditate, if you wish to join me you can.” 

 

“I’m looking for Genji Shimada, I’ve heard his in this region.” 

“He an omnic?” 

“No, cyborg.” 

“Oh you mean the green one, he’s up in the monastery.” He nodded his thanks and headed off in that direction. As he neared the building there was a monk sitting in the front yard, when he approached he noticed the monk wasn’t sitting but floating. Weird.

“Excuse me?” No visible response. “Excuse me? I’m looking for someone who is supposed to be here can you help me?” Still nothing. “Look buddy, I’ve been paid good money to get a letter to a Mr. Genji Shimada and if you don’t tell me where I can find him I’ll just barge in those big fancy doors behind you and find him myself.” 

“You are an acquaintance of his?” 

“More like a friend of a friend, give him this will you?” He handed the monk the letter he was charged with delivering. “I’ll be in town until he comes and sees me with a reply or lack thereof. Thank you.” 

“I didn’t catch your name?” 

“I didn’t give it. Call me James I guess.” 

“Well, James, you are welcome to stay here if you would like, your journey seems to have been a long one. You could give Genji this letter yourself?”

“Thank you for the offer, but I’ll pass. Make sure he gets that letter though, supposed to be really important.” 

Zenyatta watched as this ‘James’ bounced down the stairs whistling to himself, he felt uneasy at aspects of Genji’s outside life catching up with him here, so soon after they had made some progress. Zenyatta the fool who had a crush on his student wanted to hide the letter, just in case Genji read it and decided to leave. Zenyatta the teacher, however, knew that Genji had to make this decision himself, even if he makes the one Zenyatta dreads. The envelope in his hand was plain, with nothing marking it except ‘Genji’ written in a messy scrawl. 

Gathering his thoughts, he set off in search of his student. 

 

_ “Genji,  _

_ I hope my letter finds you okay, I’m kinda screwed if not. I don’t know what you’re doing right now and if you’re busy that's fine but I need help. Well, I don’t need help, Angela does. I can’t get through to her and I’m hoping you can. You don’t have to go yourself, just a letter or anything to remind her that she has people who care about her. That is, if you do still care about her. She’s been holed up in the old base since the incident and she’s working on something and she won’t tell me what. We both know she can overwork herself but this is, something else entirely. Whatever she’s working on is killing her slowly. She’s lost weight and isn’t sleeping but it isn’t just that, it’s something else I don’t know how to explain. It’s like the life force is being sucked out of her body, I know it sounds crazy but if you saw her… well it’d probably break your heart.  _

_ The guy I gave this letter to, you can trust him. Give him a letter he’ll get it to Angie, or to me if that’s what you want. I hope you’ve been good, and I really do hope you’re getting whatever you need to sorted out.  _

_ Jesse”  _

 

“Angela…” Genji read and reread the letter, it was definitely McCree’s scrawl, though he was shocked to find he didn’t somehow manage to write letters in the same drawl he spoke with. “The man who gave you this letter, he is still in town?” 

“Yes, is there something wrong?” 

“Its… an old friend. She’s in trouble somehow, Jesse seems to think I can help although I doubt it. I don’t feel ready to face her, or anyone from that time in my life, yet. I’ll write a letter and get it to him, did he leave a name?” 

“James, although I somehow doubt that’s his real name.” Genji chuckled. 

“Jesse and James, of course.” Zenyatta didn’t get the joke, as usual pop culture references went right over his head. “I’ll explain another day, I have a letter to write, thank you Master, for giving me this.” 

“Of course.” Zenyatta left Genji to his letter, although it seemed more like he was staring blankly ahead. 

 

Genji wrote and rewrote a letter to Angela forty times that day, eventually he gave up and slept. Zenyatta didn’t fetch him for lessons the next day, leaving him to his writing or lack thereof. He sat, reflecting on his time with her and wondered how to put anything and everything into words. He thought back to how they parted, and he knew exactly what to do. That day he ventured into town and bought the supplies he needed, he also found James and asked him to stay in town for a while longer, he’d have a package for him to deliver soon. 

“You return my student, have you decided what you are doing?” 

“Yes master, may I ask for a few days away from our lessons?” 

“Of course, you know where to find me when you are ready to return to them.” At that Genji bowed deeply, thank you’s overflowing from his lips as he hurried to his room to set up. 

 

It was four days before he emerged again, paint stained and smiling. Carefully tucked under his arm was a canvas wrapped neatly and carefully in brown paper. He nodded a greeting at his master, thanking him once again, before he headed into town to give his package to James. 

“Get this to Angela, you know where to find her?” 

“Yeah, Jesse told me. This whole package is for her?” 

“Yeah, and next time you see Jesse just tell him I say thank you. Can you remember that much? Keep that package dry and be gentle with it please.” James nodded, taking the package and gathering his things. “You’re leaving now?” 

“Yup, my job here is done.” He held out a hand for Genji to shake, “it was a pleasure to meet you Genji, Jesse speaks highly of you.” Genji dodged the hand and pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Thank you for this James, I should be here for the foreseeable future if Jesse or Ange ever have need of me. And, here.” Genji handed him an envelope. “It’s got all sorts of currency in it so you should be fine to get where you’re going, and if you still have enough from what Jesse gave you then just treat yourself with it I don’t care. What you’ve done means a lot to me.”

With that James finished packing up, Genji walked with him to the city limits and they bid each other goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a story outline i abandoned it somewhere so strap in for the ride kiddos cause theres no knowing where we're going


End file.
